You are nowhere I can reach

And I choose to kill myself,on every new night here and there
I write the same poem everyday,with great detail and care
The pages run blank and I have laid myself bare
I listen all night for your whispers by the stairs
But I know,I know you are not coming
And that somehow seems fair
In the end,I scramble my brain
I piece together familiar feelings of pain
In the end,I wrote 44 different poems
But oh well,the story they tell is all the same
I hope you get to know,how I feel about you
I hope you get to know,how I dream about you
I hope you know,that it’s all too real
I don’t want to take the shade of exotic words tonight
Tonight,I write from a train
Tonight,I float far away along the faint of whistle
But,I can’t forget you I have been trying
But, I can’t On days,when everything gets worse
I still contain you in me
Like the ruins of a sandcastle in the palm of a toddler
You are everywhere I can see
You are nowhere I can reach